Thursday, April 22, 2010

When Mommy Hits A Brick Wall

Ladies, I am sure that many of you can relate.  You reach the point of total exhaustion and feel that you can handle no more.  You either start yelling at those around you, fall into depression, cry, sleep, or all of the above.  I have hit that brick wall in my life today.  Life around me seems to be happening so fast.  There are financial struggles within the church that sometimes cause me to stress, children who argue and pick on each other all day long, many new things to learn as we have began a new journey in making all things from scratch (which I love doing), learning to be frugal, stress over having to prevent getting pregnancy due to health concerns (even though I feel strongly against doing things to prevent pregnancy, but trust my doctor), and trying to be a happy homemaker who is immersed in the Scriptures.  Today I fell in utter defeat.  I napped twice and still feel exhausted!  I feel lazy when I take a nap.  I feel like I am not using my time wisely.  However, in order to be a better mommy, I need to be refreshed and take a break every once in a while.  Since we do not have family nearby, my husband and I must rely upon each other to help take care of each other.  He sees my weakness and gives me a break when I need one.    I am  rejoicing that the Lord was my strength today.  The Holy Spirit carried me through the day today.  Tomorrow will be a new day and the Lord's mercies are made new each and every day.

I have not blogged much this week and will hopefully get back on schedule next week.  The week started with the absence of my husband.  He was away in South Carolina preaching.  We drove him to the airport on Friday and then picked him up on Monday.  The airport is about a little over 2 and a half hours from our home.  Then on Tuesday, we traveled to Utica for a doctor's appointment and a few errands.  So, my reason for not blogging has been well justified.  Also, yesterday, I posted about the struggles many pastor's wives face and received a great comment from Celee.  However, after my husband read the post he felt that it was a good post (but a little too personal) and that it could offend others, so I needed to delete it.  I appreciate all my readers and their comments.  It is never my goal to offend others in what I write.  I want to be an encouragement to others and to be real.  I am not super-mom and cannot handle it all.  It is entirely the Lord who enables me to do the things that I do.  I am thankful for the Lord and His mercies.


mosey said...

Every mom (whether she admits it or not) hits those days when being a mom seems impossible. The very sound of her precious children calling out "mommy" brings her to tears.

But you must know that even on your down days, YOU are the mommy that God chose for your children. I share that only as an encouragement to you and a reminder to me! We are not perfect we are just called...

Praying for you with all of my heart, for I am having much the same type of day.

My heart also understands yours in the area of preventing pregnancy. I so desperately wish I could carry children again, but to no avail we have also chosen to trust the doctors advice and permanently end all possibilities. (it broke my heart to do so) It almost felt like we weren't trusting God, but yet at the same time, I believe that the Lord gives us doctors and if we rest in Him He gives us the wisdom to know when to trust those doctors. It would be selfish to take the chance and possibly rob my other 5 children of their mother.

Debbie said...


I guess I don't think of pregnancy prevention in the terms of robbing my other 5 children of their mother for my own satisifaction of being pregnant again before the doctor okays it. Just yesterday, my husband was reminding me of following the doctors advice exactly. He reminded me of the lady, whom the doctor had spoken of, who went monthly to have her hcg's read until they went to 0 and then stopped going, got pregnant, and then found out she had cancer too late and died shortly afterwards. I am also sorry to hear of the pain that you must endure. It adds to the emotions of the day that sometimes send us overboard. I guess ultimately it is not trusting in the Lord's provision for our lives. This is ultimately a humbling thought to me. I do pray for you as the Lord lays you upon my heart and am thankful for the prayers of others for me also. I think that the Lord gives me days like this for my sanctification and to show that in my weakness His strength is made perfect. It is my prayer that I would just be a more patient mommy who addresses discipline issues immediately instead of waiting until I am frustrated with my children. My husband set a beautiful example for me this morning of addressing the issues with patience and immediately and now I am going to work on it.

mosey said...

oops, I Hope I didn't come across as saying that you'd be selfish to get pregnant, sometimes I get carried away in sharing my own experiences!!!! From reading your blog I see you as anything but selfish, I treasure how honest you are and I treasure that you truly do see exactly like you said that the Lord gives us bad days (sometimes weeks) as a reminder that we cannot do this "mommy thing" on our own strength... I love to see a mother walking honestly with herself and others, I think in this crazy blog world we can allow others to only see the parts of our lives we want them to, the good parts where we were that mommy who sat on the floor and did crafts with our kids cheerfully all day long and still managed to cook a seven course meal and greet our husband with oodles of energy and perfectly done hair and makeup.

It just seems so fake to me, maybe some mom's can be like that, but with all of my physical limitations it just makes me feel like a failure, I think it's why I feel at home here in your blog posts, because you are a REAL person!

I have truly been struggling with the pregnancy issue lately I guess your sharing your heart on your own struggles just struck a cord in mine. I pray that I didn't offend!

Debbie said...


You did not offend at all. You just made me think and that is a good thing. I need others who challenge me to think and to see what the heart of the issue really is. I also love reading your blog. You are also a very real person and I feel as though we can truly relate. You, too, live in a cold and isolated place and serve Christ. I love your devotion to Christ. It also seems as if we have the same focus for our children and I don't feel so all alone here or weird. Thank you for your encouraging words. I love that you share your own experiences. That is what makes you who you are and I know specifically how that I can pray for you.

Rossie said...

For sure we all have those days! Thank God we are all in it together...I just posted on Facebook the other day, "Ever have one of those days when people seem to be chewing too loud, walking too slow, whining too much, asking too many questions and for some reason those people keep calling me "mom". I was having one of those days!
Thankyou for your honesty and for being a balm to us moms that feel the same way many days.
You are in my thoughts and prayers!!
Lots of love, Rossie

Crystal said...

I had a week like that this week. Yes my kids are older but the stress is not any less. I feel a lot better today. I am so happy about that. You are in my prayers.